I very clearly remember complaining to my fellow vets and vet techs about clients, friends, and even family who didn’t respect my boundaries.
It was so rude of them.
I felt very angry every time my boundaries were violated…
… probably because deep down I knew I had No Control over the actions of other people.
That created a bit of despair because I believed the only way I would ever be able to enjoy work-life balance was if other people started following the rules… and I knew the chances of that happening were slim to none.
It seemed impossible… because it was impossible!
What I didn’t know was that both creating boundaries and upholding boundaries actually have NOTHING to do with what other people do.
The ONLY PERSON who can violate my boundary is ME.
A boundary is simply a request for another person to behave a certain way, and a consequence if they choose not to do so.
Boundaries are only violated when the person setting the boundary doesn’t follow through with the consequence when the behavior request isn’t met.
(That part about following through with the consequence… that’s the part I missed.)
I thought once I set the boundary, the other person would, of course, follow through with the requested behavior if they respected my position. When they didn’t, I’d become angry, offended, victimized.
I had it all wrong… and I was violating my own boundaries (and creating my own misery) again and again and again because I wasn’t following through with the consequences.
And if I’m honest, I’m not sure I even clearly expressed the consequences…
I had no idea what I was doing.
Here’s the Great News for you… now that I “get it” when it comes to setting boundaries in VetMed, I’m making it a whole lot easier for all of us!
This is a Critical Skill to master if you want work-life balance, and some autonomy in your life. I talked about all of this yesterday in a Facebook Live Event on the Joyful DVM page. To listen, CLICK HERE.
Want to just cut to the chase?
I’ve got you covered!
I created a New Free Resource: Setting Boundaries Blueprint for Veterinary Professionals. I’ve included word-by-word scripts of exactly what you can say to set boundaries in a variety of scenarios.
It doesn’t get easier than that.
To get a copy of the Setting Boundaries Blueprint, CLICK HERE.
If you have any questions along the way, just reply to this email, or tag me on social #JoyfulDVM @JoyfulDVM